As spring marks the time for fragrant flowers and sunny days, high school seniors are making decisions carrying enough weight to change their lives forever. Although it is not a permanent decision, choosing how to begin the next chapter of your life seems pretty daunting when you are currently dealing with what color prom dress to wear and how to buy a graduation cap tassel.

Whether looking at possible colleges or the option of not going to school at all, the next four years often defines a substantial part of a young adults life. For me, I’m frozen between two polar choices that offer pros and cons essentially canceling each other out. There appears to be so much pressure to make the right decision, but what if there is not a wrong one? Already self-diagnosing myself with indecisiveness disorder, I cannot bring myself to make any further moves because I seem to be unnecessarily nervous about just one aspect of my life. Choosing between college for the next four years or traveling for one and getting a late start is putting and unusual amount of stress on someone who “handles stress well.”

I like to consider myself a wanderer, someone who finds comfort in situations outside of my own comfort zone. In this paradox for my adventures, I find myself torn between the decision of allowing myself to do what I love and see the world, or stick to the standard of attending more school right after finishing up here. A considerable amount of students are facing a similar situation. What frightens me is that I cannot commit to the one thing I say I really want to do, which is to travel, to write, to paint, to observe the world while I’m living in it. I can’t dive head first into a world of culture and excitement because I’m afraid of falling behind or losing motivation. Arguing otherwise, taking up a gap year could only bring positive changes on my outlook of life, people, and the things around me while also illuminating the type of nomadic lifestyle I find very appealing. My pros and cons list has extended to scraps of paper littered around my room, paper napkins in my car, and doodles around the margins of my homework assignments. These decisions are yes, important, but have overwhelmed me to the point where every other thought features some sliver of the future.

72 days into spring with 2 days left to decide, myself along with a majority of my peers are contemplating how to plan out the next part of our lives and still having a hard time. I’m left smelling the flowers and sitting in the sun, all while next to me sits a pile of homework, overdue textbooks, and a decision waiting to be made.